Christmas List 2016
Well, it’s that time of year again.
The holiday season is upon us and that means it’s once again time to review my annual Christmas list. My list includes gifts for both naughty and nice, because who am I to judge?
So, without further ado…
To Selectman Peter May: automatic canine voter registration.
To Fred Rich LaRiccia: a winner.
To Jen Migliore: new management.
To the Americal Civic Center: gun control.
To School Superintendent Dr. Kim Smith: a phone call.
To Designer Lawn Sprinkler Service: Will Ferrell.
To the Albion Cultural Exchange Committee: berets and goatees.
To the West Side: d-Con
To Lake Quannapowitt Committee Chairman Mike Collins: the Nobel Peace Prize.
To the Unitarian Universalists: a Merry Solstice and a Happy Equinox.
To the Human Rights Commission: a white Christmas.
To Nate Gayman: peace, love and understanding.
To Paul DiNocco: a chair.
To Dan Benjamin: his picture in the paper.
To Wendy Dennis: an inflammatory non sequitur.
To the Wakefield Civic League: a bright view.
To Pat Bruno: decaf.
To the Wakefield Police Department: A spray bottle of Roundup in every cruiser.
To the School Department: a copy of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch stole Winter Break.
To Town Clerk Betsy Sheeran: a copy of the 2016 Town of Wakefield Annual Street List.
To Rose Morgan: a Z an X a Q and a J.
No need to thank me. The joy is in the giving.
Merry Christmas!
[The column originally appeared in the December 22, 2016 Wakefield Daily Item.]
Filed under: Columns & Essays, Humor, News, Opinion, Politics, Wakefield | 1 Comment
Tags: Albion Street, Americal Civic Center, Betsy Sheeran, Brighview Senior Living, Christmas, d-Con, Dan Benjamin, Designer Lawn Sprinkler Service, Dr. Seuss, elf, Fred Rich, Grinch, guns, Jennifer Migliore, Lake Quannapoeitt, Mark Sardella, Merry Christmas, Mike Collins, Nathaniel Gayman, Nobel Prize, Patrick Bruno, Peter May, Rose Morgan, Roundup, Street List, Uniratians, Wakefield Civic League, Wakefield Daily Item, Wakefield Human Rights Commission, Wakefield Massachusetts Paul DiNocco, Wakefield Police Department, Wakefield Public Schools, Wendy Dennis, White Christmas, Will Ferrell, Words with Friends
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