Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Big bang theory

11Jul20

When is a firecracker just a firecracker? If you were in Wakefield — or anywhere else in the country — on July 4 weekend, you probably noticed a dramatic uptick in the volume of amateur fireworks compared to other years. You were not alone. “Fireworks complaint” was far and away the dominant entry in the […]


Who knew that rioters and looters were covered under Phase 1 of the re-opening plan? High school graduation ceremonies with 260 students are still verboten, but if you and several thousand of your comrades want to get together and torch a church or flip over a few police cruisers, no one’s going to stop you […]


Cruel choices

30Apr20

The choice, apparently, is a binary one. You can have economic devastation or death. You can have your livelihood or your life. There are no other options, so take your pick. That’s the way it’s being framed by amateur epidemiologists on social media, who can always find some “study” on the internet to justify expanding […]


Walk this way

02Apr20

As we plunge headlong toward the apocalypse, I’ve had lots of time to reflect. One thing I’ve been thinking about is rules and regulations, and lately, I’ve had no shortage of new ones to ponder. One silver lining is the governor’s new ban on reusable cloth shopping bags. As it turns out, those of us […]


Out of an abundance of misanthropy, I have decided to self-quarantine until further notice. No, I’m not reacting to the coronavirus. I’m responding to the sheer panic that has overtaken the human population in the last week, including some normally level-headed leaders. I’m in Stop & Shop about every other day under normal circumstances. But […]


A rank choice

20Feb20

What do you call an electoral system where if your candidate loses, you get to vote again? Some people call it “ranked-choice voting.” I call it “legalized voter fraud.” If a measure on the November ballot in Massachusetts passes, you can say goodbye to such quaint concepts as “one person, one vote” and “the candidate […]


Massachusetts state lawmakers are currently weighing a proposal that would allow 16 and 17-year-olds to vote. In other news this week, the latest viral trend among teenagers involves partially inserting an iPhone charger into a wall outlet and sliding a penny down the wall onto the exposed prongs, causing an explosion of sparks, electrical damage, […]


Old school

16Jan20

Coming on the heels of the great news that the Greenwood School would at long last be getting a new roof came the even better news that the 123-year-old structure would not support solar panels on the new roof. There goes the planet.


When any person or group tells you that they want to “reform” the way we conduct elections to make voting more “fair” and increase voter “participation,” your BS detector should go off. Because when it comes to elections, one thing and only one thing matters: winning. When proposals are advanced to change how elections are […]


If you thought the local plastic bag ban passed by the town a couple of years ago was bad, take heart. It’s about to get a lot worse. The Massachusetts Legislature is considering a measure that would ban plastic bags statewide. The State Senate is now debating the legislation before it moves on to the […]