Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
GRADUATION SPEECH, 2006
Well, that time of year is once more upon us, and again my commencement day speech has been written, re-written, polished and rehearsed. I am, in short, prepared to impart the following pearls of wisdom to any class of graduates at any school that will have me.
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CAT TRAINING
It is generally believed that dogs are easier to train than cats. That’s probably true if you are looking for a pet to fetch the newspaper or sit up and beg. For complex reasons of evolution and breeding, dogs are by nature more eager to please than cats are.
Filed under: Cats, Columns & Essays, Humor | 1 Comment
COMMENCEMENT DAY ADDRESS
Most schools have already secured their commencement day speakers, and again this year, my phone hasn’t rung. But if the featured graduation day speaker for your college, high school, middle school or driving academy should happen to cancel, I am ready to fill in at a moment’s notice. To prove that I’m fully prepared to […]
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CLICHE DAY
Friday, November 3, 2006 is Cliché Day. I kid you not. Would I lie to you? Now that I’ve let the cat out of the bag, please don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. It’s right here in black and white, in Chase’s 2006 Calendar of Events. “Use cliché’s as much as possible today,” advises […]
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