Graduation season is upon us, and it’s once again time for the unqualified to dispense pearls of wisdom to the disinterested. So don your caps and gowns, take your seats and try to stay awake.

Well, that time of year is once more upon us, and again my commencement day speech has been written, re-written, polished and rehearsed. I am, in short, prepared to impart the following pearls of wisdom to any class of graduates at any school that will have me.

Most schools have already secured their commencement day speakers, and again this year, my phone hasn’t rung. But if the featured graduation day speaker for your college, high school, middle school or driving academy should happen to cancel, I am ready to fill in at a moment’s notice. To prove that I’m fully prepared to […]