Archive for the ‘Columns & Essays’ Category
LET’S GET IT RIGHT ON 9/11
On September 11, 2007, it will be have been six years since the terrorist attacks. Call me picky, but can we please not hear that date referred to in speech as “nine one one”?
Filed under: Columns & Essays, History, Opinion, Politics | 1 Comment
NEW MONOPOLIES
I never thought I’d say it, but I’m starting to miss the cable companies. Whipping boys don’t grow on trees, you know.
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OPEN MIKE NIGHT AT TOWN MEETING
Q. What did the Canada goose say at Town Meeting? A. I just flew in from the Common, and are my wings tired!
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Tags: Bill Carroll, Bob McLaughlin, comedians, comedy, Daily Item, funny, Humor, Open Mike, Town Meeting, Wakefield, Wakefield Daily Item, Wakefield Item, Wakefield MA, Wakefield Massachusetts, William H. Carroll
SUPPORTING THE TROOPS?
As we approach another Memorial Day with our country at war, it will be interesting to watch the attendance at events around the country. We often hear from those in the anti-war ranks that they oppose the war but “support the troops.” And yet, when I attended last November’s Veterans’ Day observance in my hometown […]
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GRADUATION SPEECH, 2006
Well, that time of year is once more upon us, and again my commencement day speech has been written, re-written, polished and rehearsed. I am, in short, prepared to impart the following pearls of wisdom to any class of graduates at any school that will have me.
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CAT TRAINING
It is generally believed that dogs are easier to train than cats. That’s probably true if you are looking for a pet to fetch the newspaper or sit up and beg. For complex reasons of evolution and breeding, dogs are by nature more eager to please than cats are.
Filed under: Cats, Columns & Essays, Humor | 1 Comment
BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG VEHICLES
Like cell phone users who won’t shut up and drive, people who cruise around with their headlights permanently set in the “blind” position are a menace and a danger on the roadway. I used to think that the problem was just people who left their high beams on by mistake, but I now realize that […]
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THE COLDEST SUMMER
Sure, it’s been cool so far this summer. The average daily high temperature for July has been 77.6, almost 4 degrees below the normal average high of 81.4. The average mean temperature for the Boston area has been 3 degrees below normal. You think that’s bad? Try the New England summer of 1816. That’s the […]
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COMMENCEMENT DAY ADDRESS
Most schools have already secured their commencement day speakers, and again this year, my phone hasn’t rung. But if the featured graduation day speaker for your college, high school, middle school or driving academy should happen to cancel, I am ready to fill in at a moment’s notice. To prove that I’m fully prepared to […]
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Mark Sardella 