My coffee maker, a Cuisinart, died yesterday. It would have been 11 years old next month. The immediate cause of death was listed as complications from a massive water hemmorhage suffered Wednesday morning.
Cuisinart was received as a gift in December of 2001. It performed yeoman’s work, missing few days in a decade-long long career dedicated to creating the finest morning blend. In recent years, however, there were grounds for concern that trouble was brewing. Its basket began to sag. Its original bright, cream-colored face became increasing mottled with irremovable stains. Its name, “Cuisinart,” once proudly emblazoned across its basket, became faded and illegible. Eventually, the evidence of leakage became impossible to ignore.

Cuisinart is survived by one cousin, Mr. Coffee, and many No. 2 filters. Funeral services will be private. Interment will be at a land-fill to be determined. Memorial gift cards may be purchased at Dunkin Donuts.