Who knew that rioters and looters were covered under Phase 1 of the re-opening plan?

High school graduation ceremonies with 260 students are still verboten, but if you and several thousand of your comrades want to get together and torch a church or flip over a few police cruisers, no one’s going to stop you — or even tell you to social distance.

To their credit, though, the peaceful rioters were years ahead of everybody else when it comes to wearing masks.

Meanwhile, as the rest of us slog through our phased, data-driven re-opening (my favorite kind of re-opening), it may be helpful to examine what “data-driven” really means.
Continue reading ‘Data-driven derangement’

Now the real panic has begun.

Gov. Charlie Baker’s re-opening plan, as timid as it is, has lockdown enthusiasts grasping at straws to stem the trickle (one can hardly call it a tide) of normalcy returning to the Bay State.

Back in mid-March, it never occurred to anyone that this economic shutdown would go on for nine long weeks (and counting). Two or three weeks, maybe a month was the unspoken assumption. Some people even bought into it — mainly those who could “work from home” or were otherwise still collecting a paycheck.

But after about 30 days, the novelty began to wear off and cold, hard reality began to sink in. Fun’s fun, but national economic suicide is not a sustainable model, which is why it had never been done anywhere, for any reason, in the history of human civilization.
Continue reading ‘Summer of no fun’

Cruel choices


The choice, apparently, is a binary one.

You can have economic devastation or death. You can have your livelihood or your life. There are no other options, so take your pick.

That’s the way it’s being framed by amateur epidemiologists on social media, who can always find some “study” on the internet to justify expanding restrictions and extending the lockdown until – well, that’s none of your business.

I used to laugh at those who likened our shutdown to martial law. But every time I’m sure that things can’t possibly get more restrictive, they get more restrictive. And our shutdown drags on without even a glimmer of light at the end of this long and very dark tunnel.
Continue reading ‘Cruel choices’

Let me see if I understand.

Either you want everybody to live under lockdown indefinitely (if you call that living) or you care more about Wall Street and corporate profits than human life.

Have I got that about right?

If you express any concern about the economy, it’s not because you hope small business owners, who have invested their hearts, souls and life savings, can salvage something of their hopes and dreams.

No. You’re literally “a murderer” who cares more about corporations than lives. Because everyone knows that small business owners are nothing but corporate tycoons and robber barons in waiting.
Continue reading ‘Many ways to care’

Walk this way


As we plunge headlong toward the apocalypse, I’ve had lots of time to reflect.

One thing I’ve been thinking about is rules and regulations, and lately, I’ve had no shortage of new ones to ponder.

One silver lining is the governor’s new ban on reusable cloth shopping bags. As it turns out, those of us who said that these germ-infested receptacles were carrying more than just almond milk and kale were right all along!
Continue reading ‘Walk this way’

Out of an abundance of misanthropy, I have decided to self-quarantine until further notice.

No, I’m not reacting to the coronavirus. I’m responding to the sheer panic that has overtaken the human population in the last week, including some normally level-headed leaders.

I’m in Stop & Shop about every other day under normal circumstances. But when I went there late last Thursday afternoon, I wasn’t prepared for what awaited me.
Continue reading ‘March into madness’

Just days after Tuesday’s Presidential Primary Election, voting is still much on the minds of the populace. I know, some of you early-voted the previous week because who votes on Election Day anymore, right?

I do.

Voting on the actual day of the election is just a weird personal preference I have. Don’t judge me. I’m not saying everyone has to do it.
Continue reading ‘Three strikes for early voting’

A rank choice


What do you call an electoral system where if your candidate loses, you get to vote again?

Some people call it “ranked-choice voting.”

I call it “legalized voter fraud.”

If a measure on the November ballot in Massachusetts passes, you can say goodbye to such quaint concepts as “one person, one vote” and “the candidate with the most votes wins.”

Say hello to “we keep voting until our candidate wins.”
Continue reading ‘A rank choice’

If there is one group of individuals about whom a discouraging word must never be uttered, it’s public school teachers.

Wakefield teachers have been without a contract since last summer, which you’ve probably heard as their supporters have been using social media and other means to spread the word.
Continue reading ‘The cost of learning’

Massachusetts state lawmakers are currently weighing a proposal that would allow 16 and 17-year-olds to vote.

In other news this week, the latest viral trend among teenagers involves partially inserting an iPhone charger into a wall outlet and sliding a penny down the wall onto the exposed prongs, causing an explosion of sparks, electrical damage, and potentially fires.


In a sane state, the second story would shock some sense into legislators considering lowering the voting age. But this is Massachusetts.
Continue reading ‘The spark of youth’

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