I’ve taken to heart recent advice from readers that I should “do a little investigative journalism.” And since it’s my firm conviction that the public has a constitutional right to know what their local officials and others will be receiving in their stockings and under their trees on Christmas morning, my digging has uncovered Santa’s secret list.

Due to inflation, Santa’s list is shorter than usual this year, which will come as a relief to those who didn’t make the list.

To Sam Stella: a bright red MAGA hat.

To Jonathan Chines: the Beatles’ Taxman on vinyl.

To the 2022 Wakefield Warrior football team: a trip to Superbowl LVII on Feb. 12.

To School Superintendent Doug Lyons and Wakefield High School Principal Amy McLeod: matching Ohio State University sweatshirts.

To the Wakefield Bowladrome : a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

To Yes for WMHS: No.

To Wakefield voters: reserved parking.

To Jeff Kehoe: a hardcover copy of Smart Brevity: the power of saying more with less, by Mike Allen.

To the Wakefield Police: earplugs.

To the Wakefield Town Council: a Wakefield native.

To the “SAVE the Forest and BUILD the Voke” group: a chain saw.

To Wakefield Public Schools: a copyright attorney on retainer.

To the family of Shaun F. Beasley: respect.

To WMHS students: a school logo.

To the Wakefield Environmental Sustainability Committee Greenhouse Gas Subcommittee: a more energy-efficient name.

To the Warrior Logo Committee: reparations.

To the Fence Viewing Committee: a ladder.

To the Wakefield Human Rights Commission: a rainbow-colored flag pole.

To woke Sen. Jason Lewis: a diverse, equitable and inclusive holiday season and a safe, accessible and sustainable New Year.

To Town Councilors Mehreen Butt and Jonathan Chines: taxpayer-funded Charlie Cards.

And last, but certainly not least, to the Unitarian Universalists: a very blessed and holy Winter Solstice.

To everyone else, Merry Christmas!
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[This column originally appeared in the December 22, 2022 Wakefield Daily Item.]